Anticipation!

So...I can't sleep. Haven't really been able to sleep because the anticipation is killing me! Fat Kid and I wrapped up our time in Arizona with a trip to the aquarium (which he loved!) and after a long day of flying, we were both exhausted. He passed out in the car (after running like a banshee through the airport, haha) and by the time I unloaded and helped N find some last-minute things for his Class A inspection, it was well past midnight. And of course, on the night Fat Kid sleeps more than a few hours stretch, I can't sleep. Awesome. As much as I loved AZ, let me just say that I am so glad to be back home. It feels...weird coming home after being gone for so long, but I missed N like crazy and Fat Kid missed his toys, lol

Now for the exciting stuff! I met my IPs :D This deserves like 20 more exclamation marks, but that's overkill so I'll leave it at one. After having Fat Kid run out of the airport bathroom while I was still peeing (fabulous, right?), I met C right by baggage claim. We chatted for a bit while wrangling Fat Kid until the luggage came out. C got in before us (at 845 pm), we landed at 910 pm and W wasn't supposed to land until 10 pm...but he has crazy awesome timing and managed to get in shortly after I got our checked bag around 945. Definitely good considering N had a lot to do and I could just hear the complaints, haha.

And now that brings us to me, sitting on the couch while Fat Kid sleeps peacefully in the bedroom. I alternate between attempting to clean up trivial things and typing this because I know the big things a) don't matter and b) aren't going to get clean anyway. (Whoa, how did my sliding door get so dirty?!?) Thankfully, this has taken up a good chunk of time and I only have another hour and a half or so to wait, but jeez, I'm so excited to see them again! They are such incredible people and...seriously, they're just amazing. Expect another update soon. I'm going to hop in the shower and put the mound of dishes N left me in the dishwasher. Let the day begin!

Adventures Abound!

Things have been kind of quiet on the blog-front. My apologies for that, but I promise it's not without reason. Fat Kid and I had a fabulous two weeks in Kansas. It was nice to see my dad since he's usually away on business when my family comes to visit. It was even more fun to spend time with my younger sister before she goes off to college. Fat Kid LOVES my parents house because they have cats and he's a cat kind of kid ;) It didn't take him long to get into the toys and to start squealing at the cats again. If only N weren't allergic...

Fat Kid caught a tummy bug the first week we were there. Nasty week of icky poops all day long and one horrible night of projectile vomiting and the poor boy spent the next week mass nursing to boost his immune system and replenish the fluids he lost. Rough few days for us, but thankfully no one else caught it.

Saturday started our "big" adventure. Mom, Fat Kid and I embarked at 4 am from Kansas City with the intent of driving until we reached my uncle's house in Mountainair, NM. With a few stops along the way to stretch our legs (and to let Fat Kid run, squealing through the stores, haha), we made it safely to New Mexico before dark. I cannot even begin to express how gorgeous the scenery was! It was incredibly isolated and the nearest hospital was over an hour away, but the views, the huge plots of land and the sheer beauty of the place still astounds me. We were able to see old ruins from a settlement in the 1300s (pics to come soon!). Such an incredible experience and my uncle is a fantastic cook. We saw the renovations he and his wife were doing to their property, played with ALL of their animals (6 dogs, 2 cats and 2 horses) and stuffed ourselves silly. The motel they had for us was renovated by my uncle and while it was a small place, it was so luxurious! I dare say it was probably the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in. Fat Kid slept soundly and Mom commented on how sweet it was to hear him singing to himself in his sleep.

Sunday we drove the remaining 8-9 hours to Scottsdale, AZ and checked into our timeshare. We got unloaded, showered and went straight to sleep. Our days have been filled with crazy 105+ degree days, but plenty of pool time and AC. The resort has a ton of scheduled activities (including a pool party/dinner yesterday with games for kids and adults alike) and tonight we (Mom and I) are going to a wine tasting, yummy!

We also picked my sister up from the airport this morning and got her moved into her apartment. I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little jealous of her. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my life. My husband and son are my entire world, but seeing all the college students, the cheap-quality furniture and accessories and feeling the energy of all the possibilities in the air just made me flashback to the old days.

Speaking of family, sadly N is stuck back at home. He's currently going through WLC (Warrior Leadership Course), a grueling month-long, 6 day-a-week training program for soldiers to become NCOs. He says it sucks majorly, but he's excelling and making us proud. We're all looking forward to a family vacation soon (our first one as a family of three!). It's kind of sad that Fat Kid has been all of these places, but never with both of us :(

On the surrogate front, the mini pill has somewhat thrown my body for a loop. I have an appointment set when I get home to make sure things are still good. I keep in contact regularly with my IPs and we're all so incredibly excited to meet! 10 days from now and we'll be meeting. Such an exhilarating thought. I'm in love with all of the possibilities and I can't wait to iron things out more. For once, it feels real and I am on cloud nine!

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News!

Major news on the homefront. I've been keeping it kinda hush-hush because I wanted to see how it plays out before I opened my mouth. Don't wanna jinx it, you know? I'm feeling pretty confident at this point so I think it's okay to say something.

Obviously this is in regards to my same-sex couple, woohoo! A word from Tricare: since we both have the same insurance coverage, everything is COVERED 100%. Oh mylanta! This is some of the most exciting news I've ever gotten in a long, long time. I feel like a kid that got their own candy store for Christmas, haha. After doing my own research and having my IPs talk with four different people (one from each of the regions), they got an email confirming everything. We have it and we have it in writing. Such a huge relief! Insurance has always been the road block that derailed every other potential match so to have this work out just takes a huge load off my back.

The second amazing thing I have to share is that we have a date set to meet! They have a confirmed flight, hotel and rental car. Fat Kid and I will be in Kansas (moving my sister to Arizona) and we'll have to cut our time a little short, but it's SO worth it! I'm so excited to meet them face-to-face, introduce them to my little guy and just be able to spend time getting to know them. Only a few more weeks!

Right now we're waiting on a lawyer here in Missouri to get back into town and to call us back so we can iron out some of those details and figure out our next steps. I'm super excited and I can't wait to get things squared away so we can move forward. I'm SO glad things have finally fallen into place and I'm not ever-waiting in the pool of surrogates to be chosen. Yay for something finally going right! I'll keep things updated as they progress. YAY!

SO EXCITED!

Oh my gosh, so I've been trying to contain my excitement, but I can't hold it in any longer! I have found the PERFECT IPs. Freaking amazing couple, also military which solves the insurance dilemma. We've discussed compensation, picked out a hospital for the baby to be born at, got lawyers lined up and are setting a date to meet. Honestly, I didn't want to get too excited, especially since it seems the insurance was proving to be more of an insurmountable obstacle than anything and since I had gotten so far with other IPs only to have something like that halt our progress, but it seems nothing can stop us now!

We still have some minor things to work through. The contracts need to be drafted, double checking on a few things with the insurance and then figuring out when to start. They want to start ASAP and to be honest, I'm so excited that I do too, but I don't want our travel plans to impede. We also have to meet in person first and scheduling that may be interesting.

It truly feels like this is the right couple. They've been in constant contact, working with me on everything and things just fit. Strangely, all of the prior IPs seem to have dropped off the face of the earth. I don't know if that's fate's way of saying, "HEY! This is right!" or what, but that's how I'm taking it.

Next step: off the BC and tracking cycles while we work things through. Yay!

Patience Never Was My Virtue

Nothing new on the insurance front. Go figure.

There's a lot of talk in one of the groups I'm a member of (non-surrogacy related) about siblings and many of the girls are pregnant again. I feel bad saying this, but recently I was given the opportunity to watch a 6 week old baby while his parents went to the store. Simple task, not too long and an easy baby. Holding him, I started thinking of how small Fat Kid used to be, but I didn't get those stabbing pains in my ovaries that I expected. I enjoyed my time with him, but it just solidified the fact that I'm content just having one child.


On the surro front, I recently contacted a new couple and I have to say, based on the little bit that I know now, they're my favorites. Out of the three prior IPs I was speaking with, only one still remains. The last one (waiting on the RE coordinator) had a friend step up and offer to be their surro. They will be undergoing testing next month and I'm their backup. The second (legal issues) makes me uncomfortable. It seems to be one obstacle after another with her (sperm release, insurance coverage, etc) and things are just too complicated for my comfort. The first (finding an egg donor) is still in the running, but communication with them is usually slow. Anyway, this new couple is super promising and I'm anxious to see how things progress. I'll keep you posted!

The Waiting Game

And so we play the waiting game *sigh* I think I've been less anxious during the 2WW! There's not much going on right now because I'm waiting on everything it seems. I mailed my letter to insurance last Thursday so I'm waiting to hear back from them (hopefully this week if I'm lucky). From there I'll make an appointment to meet with JAG and that will likely take forever because anything with the military takes ages.

On the IP front, not much has changed. I have one looking for an egg donor and discussing with the attorney; one working to sort out the legal issues with chosen sperm as well as her own insurance coverage for the baby/babies; and the final one whose RE coordinator is calling all of her potentials to help narrow it down from three potential surrogates to one.


I had originally planned to leave my family life out of this blog. My intention was to make this strictly about surrogacy and the process, thoughts, emotions, etc involved, but so much of a surrogate is dependent on her family that I can see it is impossible to leave them out of this, especially in slow times like this :D

With that said, Fat Kid's most recent well-baby appointment revealed a heart murmur. Nothing too huge, but it has the potential to be something more serious as it's common on both sides of the family. We've got a referral to a pediatric cardiologist and are awaiting that appointment in the coming weeks. He's otherwise enjoying the hot days outside in his splasher pool and being the crazy little guy that he is.
N's schedule is ever-changing as his platoon moves from white to red cycle. They've been sending him to more schools and between those and doing road patrols, his time home is limited. It's not ideal, but understood.
As for me, my days are mostly spent working with Fat Kid. His vocabulary (both spoken and signed words) is increasing at an exponential rate. It makes me incredibly proud to see him learning so much, especially at such a young age. He's mimicking everything I do so it's not uncommon to find him "spinning" different objects on his fingers (dvds are a favorite). He also loves to brush everyone's hair, including poor daddy who has no hair :) When he lets me, I've been devoting more time to school and trying to get through it as quickly as possible. My goal is to finish and take my certification exams before N deploys so we'll see how that works. I'm also looking into starting another home-based direct sales business to complement my Scentsy business. Part of me thinks it would be more successful than Scentsy, but there's still the part of convincing N, haha. We'll see how it all works out. For now, it's just the waiting game...

There's been a lot of press about military surrogates, especially in the last few years. It seems we, as military dependents, are hot commodities because TriCare doesn't completely exclude surrogacy from its coverage. The only problem with that is that military surrogates are becoming more and more popular and TriCare is getting more and more stingy. A military surrogate group I'm a member of has more horror stories when using TriCare than successes.

The situation happens like this: TriCare refuses claims, sends a certified letter to the surrogate requesting her contract and then flat-out refuses to pay for anything. A few women are actually being asked to provide contracts for surrogacies that they completed years ago that TriCare had initially paid for.

Before you get your panties in a twist, yes, I understand that TriCare isn't technically an insurance company, but rather a government organization paid for by taxpayers and it's a privilege, blah blah blah. Here's what I don't get, aren't the IPs that pay taxes deserving of a child? Shouldn't they be allowed to have a baby without having to jump through ridiculous hoops? Honestly, (and here's the part where you start to hate me), I think that TriCare is better serving surrogate contracts than it is covering half its beneficiaries. There's a military stereotype that's fairly accurate for most families and it really bothers me. Men join as early as possible, marry before they leave for Basic and babies are popped out as fast as they can. It's not uncommon to find a woman under 25 with at least 3-4 children and 95% of them are on some sort of state assistance. It's also said that every family with at least one child ranked E5 and below qualifies for WIC and there is definitely an overabundance of military families on WIC. Why not teach self-sufficiency and money management instead? Forgive me, military baby factories, if I'd like my son to have the best I can give him WITHOUT state assistance. Forgive me if you won't find me standing in line for my WIC checks or food stamps.

Alas, I get sidetracked. My first call to TriWest, I was assured that they would cover everything during the surrogate pregnancy as though it were my own pregnancy with the exception of how it would be billed. Andrea (the rep) said nothing about the clauses or anything of the sort and simply explained the coverage in-network and the point-of-service cost-sharing out-of-network.

A little more prodding...Willy, today, reiterated the clauses and transferred me to the claims department where Carolyn told me she couldn't guarantee any payments because the third party liability division (coupled with JAG) handled all of the surrogate contracts and claims. Of course, they didn't have a phone number so I'm drafting a lovely letter in an attempt to gather some information from them.

My favorite option is a home birth with a midwife. Much cheaper and something I've always wanted. It's all out-of-pocket though and not an option with a multiple birth so the situation gets a bit more tricky, but it's definitely an option for now.